Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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