No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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