remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
