I feel like abortions should bother me more
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize