Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Im part way to drunk.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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