if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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