I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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