yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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