My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
