white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
