Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
