The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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