Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
