he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
