so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
