Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
