i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
