I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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