Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
