she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
