And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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