Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
