How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
