R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
