He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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