dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
