I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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