I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
