Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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