so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
