i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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