awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
