Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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