Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
