Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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