I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
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He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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