The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
