So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
