my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
