True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
