I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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