So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
