Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
