This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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