It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
