isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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