There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
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