Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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