well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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