Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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