You made me cry and you don't even care
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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