I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
