I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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