But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I feel great
I just peed on a car
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
