Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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