i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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