Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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