so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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