He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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