There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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