i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Randomize
