when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
