your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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