Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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