What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
