you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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